With the three-legged cat's English learned at home, who has not made a joke abroad.
Every order seems to be a great adventure.
How the familiar words have changed.
How come people don't speak the same English as I do?
Today, let's count the jokes we've had in those years abroad.
If I don't laugh, I lose!
1. There are a lot of people in the Australian bus system, so there are often officer who pick up tickets and check them out of the car.
In fact, it's very simple, just pass him the bus pass and scan it. The first time I met those people, I thought it was the police.
And then, in good faith, I handed in my passport.
Laugh! We made those jokes when we first went abroad, which scared the foreigners.
2. I don't know what the straw says, but I know what the straw says, so I tentatively say: do you have TUBE?. Aunt continued to look me in the eye, saw my hand clenched the cup, suddenly realized, said: "do you mean straw, it's over there" to the self-help table.
3. When you hit subway, it was a test of, this yeah,this okay,that no no,thanks. every time you walked through that set of processes.
Laugh! We made those jokes when we first went abroad, which scared the foreigners.
4. When I first went to the bathroom in England, an English brother told me that cheers, didn't know it was a thank you because he thought he was having a nice piss.
Laugh! We made those jokes when we first went abroad, which scared the foreigners.
5. People ask How are you?. I: fine thank you and you im fine too. I told you everything.
6. Go to the school office to ask questions, tell foreigners that I want to find a Chinese to ask. Just say it, Find me someone who speak Chinese please.. They said Okay, you want Madarin?. I said No, I want a person speaking Chinese, I don't want Madarin, I want Chinese, who is Madarin?
So, who is Mandari?
And then I found Madarin. in the supermarket.
Laugh! We made those jokes when we first went abroad, which scared the foreigners.
7. Pull and push are confused, and it takes half a day to open the door every time they stand at the door.
8. When the supermarket checked out, asked me if cash back, also said that it's free, wanted to do activities to buy things can be returned? Answer "as much as possible".
9. The first time I visited a supermarket in Australia, everything was multiplied by 6 (at that time the Australian dollar was still high), and then I felt that everything was too expensive to buy! Later saw that the cold storage area to sell super-large super-thick ham sausage, only to 2 knives! I think so much meat can eat for a long time! It was not until I bought it that it was for the dog, for the dog.
10. Think mocha is matcha, think garlic is curry. Because of how much of this eat!
11. One day I saw a photo sign in front of the house where I lived, thinking the landlord was selling the house, and the person in the picture was a realtor. The next day, suddenly found that all around the same brand, thinking that the agent is good. Went out a day to feel wrong, all is he is selling a house, too NB, have not seen overnight all the houses in the city are monopolized by a broker … Look at it, damn it, election ads. Khan!
12. My friend's father quarreled with a ghost, and the ghost scolded FUCK, and he gave: DOUBLE FUCK. back to him.
Laugh! We made those jokes when we first went abroad, which scared the foreigners.
13. When I first came to Canada, I went to the bar and took a MM. She stayed abroad for a long time. I saw her look so cool, so I pretended to be handsome and went over to buy her a drink, so I asked her what to drink. She said: Sex On The Beach. But it was noisy, and I didn't even know what the bar was called, Son Of Bitch.. I was stunned, and then the sexy bartender at the bar was waiting for me to order, and I went back and shouted: Can I have a Son Of Bitch.. Next。 I don't want to remember!
14. A friend came to England for the first time, and her mother asked her to bring a Jinhua ham to a friend here and was taken to office when the dog sniffed it out. Then officer asked her to explain what was wrapped in a newspaper.
My classmate said: Leg.
Then the face of officer, frightened, asked, "Pardon!"
My friend repeated aloud: Lego!
She said I was wondering how officer didn't even know the ham, and she scratched his leg for a long time. Leg, leg is leg.
15. When I first arrived, I went to McDonald's to order. Although nervous, but the previous performance was very good, until the waiter asked: "here or to go?"
The first time I touched the word take-out meal, fortunately, my mind was quick to understand, but I was nervous in my mouth and shouted "Let's go!" to the waitress. After a second of petrifaction, the waiter said a word, OK..
16. Coming out of McDonald's, I saw an old man sitting on the floor with a coffee cup, thinking it was a homeless man. I threw a handful of change directly into it, and it turned out to be a full cup of coffee, and I could never forget the face of the man's horror.
17. When the female classmate passed the security check, she was told by check, pointing at the warm baby in her stomach through her skirt, that: hot baby. The security inspector asked: are you pregnant? in shock. We laughed at her for two years.
19.Hot baby reminds me that I used to think that portable battery's English is charging baby..
20. When the train left the station, the monthly ticket was swallowed by the machine and then asked the station staff who asked me which station where are you from (was sitting from) I blurted out China.
Laugh! We made those jokes when we first went abroad, which scared the foreigners.
21. Went to eat McDonald's, pointed to the above package ordered a good look, foreigners asked me what to drink, I did not know it was a package, think about saving money, I don't want to drink, said no, foreigners also asked a u sure? I still don't know how grateful I think "don't buy, won't let you earn" ah … I lost it!
22. I saw a guy on the Internet who told a joke that his classmates had just gone abroad, asked him what he was doing recently, said he went to a movie, and then asked him what was a good movie. He said two days a movie was called "COMING SOON."