In recent years, with China gradually opening its doors to the world, according to official statistics, of the 8.05 million registered marriages in China in 2016, 79000 were foreign-related marriages, accounting for 0.98% of the total.
Four years ago, it was only 0.56%. Women make up the overwhelming majority of foreigners married to foreigners.
However, when many Chinese women happily wear wedding dresses and marry their "foreign husbands", they find that the gap between China and Australia is tearless in marriage customs.
(photo source: Web)
1. Chinese wife wants bride gift Australian mother-in-law says "no way"!
Xi 'an-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sumer said his parents asked David to pay a "bride price" of 100,000 yuan when he came to the door to discuss the wedding. David said he had just joined the job and didn't have much savings.
Then the father said that the money could be made out of David's family.
Unexpectedly, when the fiance called the prospective mother-in-law in Australia, the prospective mother-in-law said to the bride price of $100,000: "No way, (No Way)!"
Sumer was helpless about this: "because Westerners think I have to give you money, have to have a reason."
And my fianc é didn't ask the family for a penny when he grew up. Even if he liked his dad's camera, he had to make money and buy it from his father.
Summer also said that he and David for three years, basically is also "AA system":
"you pay for everything you go to, and I pay for mine, as if there was no financial link."
However, although he was able to understand the difficulties of his fiance and the differences in marriage customs between China and Australia, Sumer still felt that he should insist on the bride price or not.
"all the people in the family told my parents that foreigners had money and wanted more wedding gifts. On the one hand, my parents feel that they will have face in the neighborhood for more betrothal gifts. On the other hand, the money will certainly be given to us later, so they don't want me to lose money after I go to my mother-in-law's house. "
(photo source: Web)
Mr. Sommer then posted a comment on the Internet, and also stressed that his and her fiance were not rich:
"The two men's visa fee for marriage to the Australian parents is $2,000, with a minimum of $15,000 for the two people. The food in Australia is more expensive, plus the travel fee, which has been a big expense and not less than 200,000."
On-line in view of Ms. Su's plight, but also gave the positive and negative views.
2. Square: asking for a bride price is a custom to go home and follow the customs
Some netizens and Ms. Su's family have the same idea that bride price is a custom, the David family should follow the custom, not to mention 100,000 yuan is not too much exaggeration.
Some netizens said that if marriage does not give the wedding price to prove sincere, it is better not to marry;
Some netizens also said: many of the present bride price is also just "meaning", most of the later women will use the same dowry or direct return, why so tangled!
Some netizens who have lived in Xi'an said: this is the case with one of my friends, who asked for a bride price, and said that only in this way will my mother-in-law feel heartfelt and will be twice as good to her daughter later.
However, the request for a bride price, more and more people have been questioned.
3. Against each other: marriage is not a sale of a daughter without a bride price
Opposition netizens think: bride price is the dross of traditional culture, in fact David's mother is very right, should not be betrothed!
Some people also said: Sumer's parents are exceedingly, so they are simply forcing their daughter to give the bride price, and being a parent will never be like this.
Some netizens said: just because a bride price is tangled up like this, not worth it.
4. Neutrals: step back and put yourself in a position
Of course, there are also some "peace old" that there is nothing wrong with going home, David can consider explaining to his parents whether to abide by this custom in China.
Some netizens pointed out that, in fact, the bride price is a very interesting tradition, whether to abide by or to see the meaning of the individual.
Liu Yao, a second-level national psychological consultant, said:
Cultural differences in communication, marriage is already a run-in process, since the daughter is happy, then we also pay attention to "good son-in-law, three generations", people are the most important, really pay attention to rules, parents can give a sum of money is also said to be a bride price;
Or the man can explain to his parents why the bride price exists in Chinese society.
Now that we only take a form, we can also discuss a number that is satisfactory to both sides. In short, the happiness of husband and wife is the most important, and do not spoil the harmony for a little money.
5. Australia's concept of Marriage and Love: happiness is greater than form
In fact, think carefully, and it is not difficult to understand. Sumer's parents asked for a wedding gift, but it was also the word "face", and China and Australia had different views on raising children, which led to this conflict.
It's not that Australians don't like face. In fact, many newlyweds in Australia will plan for weddings, even design venues or write invitations for weddings, but they will try not to ask their parents for money as much as they can.
And for Australians, the essence of marriage is greater than the form.
One story that proves Australian values is that in 2016, a couple named Ariel and Quinn planned to get married.
Because they don't have any money, they go to Pandora to buy a wedding ring,
Eventually they bought a $130 wedding ring, and Ariel happily checked out with Quinn, when a Pandora clerk came up to tease Ariel, "can you both believe that some men use this as an engagement ring?" How pitiful. "
Angry Quinn, came home to post online accusing Pandora of "being poor and loving the rich," saying that he loved his husband, and that even if he bought himself a toy ring, he would accept it.
That's true. It's true. The diamond ring can't represent love, Boycott Pandora!
In the end, it ended with an apology from Pandora.
Finally, from the above story, we can see that the Australian concept of marriage and love, and the concept of China is very different.
Australians can marry without a diamond ring, without a car, wine, or a commitment to a house, but this is not a hasty marriage event for Australians.
It just reflects their attitude towards happiness: happiness is happiness as long as it is done according to your power.
After reading this article, what do you think about the idea of Australian marriage and love, or the practice of asking for betrothal gifts?