There have been three family wars and two family meetings in our family in the last two months.
The fuse is all Xiao Zhang's piano lessons.
For a long time, at 07:30 in the evening, the children cried and the adults roared, because that was the time for little piano practice.
It has been a year and a half since he began to learn piano at the age of six. My teacher and I did everything we could, but he didn't like the piano and was never diluted by time!
So his father, Lao Zhang, joined me in the battle with Xiao Zhang. This time, he stood Xiao Zhang.
He said the problem was with me. I was too blind and irrational to leave blank, not knowing the advantages and interests of the child in choosing interest classes for my children.
For some children who have no talent and do not work hard, my so-called persistence is a waste of time.
I said: what do you say, how to choose interest classes for children, what to insist on, what to give up?
He said: children since the age of three, a variety of classes have worked more than a dozen, how the effect you do not know?
When it comes to children's education, men are not good at giving advice, but they are very good at finding faults!
This time old Zhang Xiaozhang's United front let the already somewhat shaken me panic. Am I wrong?
Before Xiao Zhang interest class choice on some questions, but I should also have a good summary. After all, the piano stops is a decision to make, after all, I still have a little Zhang.
And the money I've spent over the past four years, the holes I've skipped, the stupidity I've made, the worries I've had, and sharing them with you, should be of some help to other old mothers.
Today's sharing, conservatively estimated to be worth 200000.
2. When we were young, we all had such a stage, or an instant, that we had a brilliant child.
Of course, it is now realized that it is possible for the future to be at the top of it. It's hard to say whether you're smart or not.
At that time, I thought that such a smart child, how not to dig up the cultivation of good how to do it. And other people's children are working interest classes, how can I not send him to? Besides, it is a waste of time for him to hang out at home, so it is better to learn something. I've been thinking a lot.
Interest class is nothing more than these categories: sports, literature and art, discipline enlightenment.
In the past four years, I sent my children to interest classes, all of which involved about a dozen.
Three and a half years old: art-painting choice reasons: low threshold, not boring, everyone learn, children do not dislike. Persistence time: 2 years cost: 20, 000 (200 / section, 1 section a week)
Reason to give up: the threshold of painting is low, but it really depends on talent. Some interests just need to be nurtured, really do not need to spend money, at least do not need to spend money early.
Four and a half years old: subject enlightenment-reasons for offline children's English choice: after doing an English enlightenment at home, they feel that they should study systematically, such as using regular teaching materials and learning Phonics. Friend recommendation. Persistence time: 1 year cost: 20, 000 (100 / section, 4 sections a week)
Reasons for giving up: the school is too far away, pregnant with two children, not convenient to pick up and deliver. It is too important for interest classes to be close to each other.
Four and a half years old: sports-taekwondo choice reasons: downstairs in grandma's house, Taoist hall is very formal, friends recommend, exercise. Persistence time: 1 and a half years cost: 10000 yuan (100 / section, 1 / 2 per week)
Give up the reason: the child has not been too interested, after a long fever and cold, never go again. I was pregnant with a second child, and I didn't bother to give it away, so I gave up. I'm sorry to have arrived in the green belt, but the child is not sorry at all. Having a second child will delay the boss to a certain extent.
Five years old: sports-reasons for football selection: club English teaching, playing football at an international school near home, group sports. Persistence time: half a year cost: 4000 yuan (150 / section, 1 section per week)
Reason to give up: haze days are too many, adhere to not good. Children basically run around on the court and don't understand the rules at all. Some projects work better later than earlier. And the goal should be clear, not too greedy. Do you want to learn to play football or to learn English?
Five and a half years old: subject enlightenment-the reason of online English choice: English learning can not stop, online is relatively flexible and convenient. Stick to the time: still insist now, hear and hear the effect is relatively obvious, the only deficiency is to write. Cost: 40,000 (180 / section, 2 / 3 a week)
Reason for persistence: English is a subject that I now see a little hope of becoming an advantage. Long board principle. Spend time on projects that children should be interested in, have a good foundation and have great potential.
Six years old: piano choice: always have to learn a musical instrument, there is a piano at home. Adhere to the time: 1 and a half years. Cost: 30,000 (400 / section, 1 section a week)
Give up the reason: the child really does not like, every day practice is hurt and suffering to each other. The purpose was unclear at the beginning of the exercise. And did not choose to go to the organization, at home to learn piano, the environment is not formal enough, the child never accepted his life. Decided to give up.
Six years old: French video singing choice reasons: cooperate with piano learning, music, pitch, music, music theory knowledge. Persistence time: 1 year cost: 1700 (Children's Palace)
Reason to give up: the child is really not interested, the joy is poor. Art, interest and talent are too important.
Six years old: recitation / host choice reason: think the child appearance condition also OK, mouth is clever, can exercise generous and decent is also good. Persistence time: 1 year cost: 1700 (Children's Palace)
Give up the reason: because the child does not want to go to French video singing, so father is not even too lazy to give away the recitation class. Teammates, you basically mean you can't hope for it. I feel particularly sorry.
Six years old: skiing choice reason: after the test class, feel like flying, feel free, so I like it very much. Stick to the time: still stick to it. Cost: 50,000 (350 / snow blanket class, once a week; summer ski resort in Harbin; winter worship (coach fee, fare, hotel, ticket)
Insist on the reason: true love, nothing else.
Six and a half years old: the reason for the choice of calligraphy: children want to go. Stick to the time: still insist on the cost: 20, 000 (200 / section, once a week)
Insist on the reason: thunder motionless, fever must go to class. I guess I really like it.
Seven years old: Lego choice reason: school after class interest class, pass the time, the child also expresses likes. Persistence time: half a year cost: 0
Give up the reason: it means that I don't like it so much, and all kinds of Lego classes, parents need to make a serious comparative study. I didn't do this homework, so I didn't stick to it.
Seven years old: mathematical thinking choice: children like math, but he himself says that sometimes there is no way to think about something a little harder. Stick to the time: still insist on the cost: 7000 (80 / section, once a week)
Persistence:It's interesting, and the ability to solve a problem in mathematics has improved.
Seven years old: table tennis choice reason: exercise eyesight and reaction ability. Duration: half a year: 800 (Children's Palace)
Give up the reason: the big class, the child a class is basically to chat with the little girl. Don't start any project just because it's cheap.
Seven and a half years old: golf choice reason: school after class interest class, pass the time, the child also expresses likes. Stick to the time: just start the cost: 0
I have finished my extra-curricular classes for my children for more than 4 years, and I feel crazy.
The child is indeed a banknote shredder, but the uncalm mother is definitely the fighter in the banknote shredder.
What do you think my 200000 flowers are? Spend it, the happiness it brings me is not as good as buying a bag. I haven't bought a bag in two years to raise a child. This 200000, I can left hand a Chanel 2.55, right hand a stray bag, left arm a Dior Daffe bag, right arm a saddle bag, and buy a Fendi little monster. There's more left!
Investment? Investment failed!
3, money out, time spent, I also understand Lao Zhang said greedy can not chew what it means!
I've been feeling for a long time that when he was a kid, I let him get in touch a little bit more, and I gave him a choice, rights. But I ignored that when there were more choices, there was an obstacle to choice. When everything starts too easily, you don't cherish it.
In some areas, when interest is nothing, it takes a particularly long time to practice into a child's specialty, especially a lot of effort, a terrible struggle, and a very strong psychology. Even if you have all this, you still need talent.
Look at the pits you've been jumping in these four and a half years, the tears, the quarrels, the blood,
There are a few words from the bottom of my heart, we must talk to you.
Interest or specialties, different goals, different plans, different inputs
Before choosing, ask yourself whether you want to cultivate your child's interest or specialty.
Many projects, if it is to cultivate interest, they can play with their children, do not need to spend money.
In fact, this also explains that interest should have, but do not have to go to the interest class to cultivate.
I was a little late on the subject.
Don't think that when you talk about grades, there is no motivation for utilitarian, no pressure, no motivation.
There are some projects, if they start, they have to take grades, such as piano.
It is difficult to insist on all piano learning that does not take the milestone as the test.
Of course, the process of examination is very destructive.
Our family failed to insist, and the purpose is not clear relationship is very big.
Don't start easily. Don't be afraid to end.
Don't start easily, even if the child is very interested, but also for a while. Don't be afraid to end. Ending doesn't mean failure, at least stop the loss in time. Is that piece of material, practice a paragraph can see, can not delay the child.
Mom's role is not to talk about yes, but to say that no's interest class is much more expensive.
Mother should have a bright eye selection. What I didn't ask him to practice was his most talented, which may hardly exist. Be brave enough to subtract, because children and adults have limited time and money. The main thing, less and better, is to give children enough time to practice. Without practice, it is meat steamed buns beating dogs. The more parents are afraid to miss and cast their net, the more they can't catch anything.
If the child does not show interest in what special and talent interest class how to choose?
It is enough to choose one in the art category and one in the sports category. If you can become a specialty, it is best. If not, it is also good to be interested in being able to play better. It doesn't need to be too much, because it's not too late to learn because some interests don't need children's kung fu. For boys, if they're not really interested in art, it's okay for interest classes to choose sports, one of which is preferably adversarial group sports.
How do you choose a discipline?
Children can try a variety of free classes, if they have to take it anyway, why not choose an interesting one.
Can children study with one mind if they don't choose any kind of stylistic interest class?
Why shouldn't I? Is it not a specialty to study for a particularly long time? But exercise is still necessary. In fact, what I would like to say is that if children's school grades are very average, why should they sprinkle their money on all kinds of interest classes that are not available? Students still have to put their studies first.
Interest is important, but to come up with grades, interest is not a universal magic weapon.
Even if interest can make the child's training start smoothly, hold on for a longer time, there will certainly be a bottleneck and want to give up, because any score is once, twice, countless times after training. When a difficult child wants to back down, if he is sure to stick to it, he must have a tiger mother. Tiger mother is not afraid of suffering, two not afraid of spending money, and third, basically give up their own.
For the sake of children, do their best, a lot of people can not do. Can't do it, want the child to be special, difficult!
This is the mother of 19-year-old Chinese American flower skating champion Chen Wei. Look at the mother's hand and you know how much he paid for the champion's son. Ask yourself, I go shopping, hot hair makeup, but also miss the mother of the bag, okay?
4, when I began to let my children practice the piano and I gave up my thoughts, there was a voice around me:
"A child must learn a musical instrument."
"Music can improve a person's overall literacy, and it is also a skill."
"it's a little harder now. He's under a lot of pressure at work in the future. It's nice to sit there and talk about it."
"if you don't force him now, he'll blame you when he grows up."
"if he doesn't like playing, he gives up. In the future, he won't like more and more. What do you do?"
But I decided to give up the piano.
Because interest classes in the final analysis is long, not short.
And the choice of interest class is like falling in love, not suitable, how to split up and run-in feel uncomfortable, then break up.
For the development of children's interest, the perfect situation is to help children find their love, they can persevere, self-motivation.
After the piano lessons stopped for two weeks, my life seemed to return to the top.