New life is coming, mixed with joy and sorrow.
Two months ago, I had an argument with my domestic best friend because I had just had a second child, and my best friend thought it would once again lead to a fault in my career. This will affect my future work space and even the economic source of life. After an afternoon of social app exchanges, the debate ended with a mild renunciation-none of us convinced each other, even though we knew that behind this paragraph of conversation, It is her concern and concern about the reality of my recent working mother who emigrated to Australia.
In Australia, pregnancy does not seem to be a matter of strict planning. No matter what kind of family conditions, want a few children, when, all depend on the common will of both husband and wife; Other factors, such as pre-and post-natal care, mother's work and maternity leave, neonatal care, etc., are not a concern.
Sydney is littered with young parents with two or three young children, stuffed with toy double-row strollers, driving alone or by bus, enjoying a leisurely parent-child time. When I first came here four years ago, I was deeply touched by this picture; now, I can be part of it myself, how happy it is to feel the life of "yellow hair hanging and Yi Ran's self-pleasure".
When I was pregnant for the first time, I only went abroad for more than a year. I had just bought a house and a car, and my life was not completely on track. Working part-time Wednesday to four days a week at a Chinese law firm in CBD helps lawyers handle basic copywriting, according to a friend. During the interview, my friend asked me to hide my highest degree and domestic work experience, so as not to be considered over by my employe
Qualified refused. Because of the job required by the position, a good English-speaking student can do the job, and the salary is not high, and he can get about A $440 (2200 yuan) a week.
Australian workplace is completely unfamiliar to me, my accumulation in China, because of cultural adaptation problems, I am afraid there are few opportunities to show talent. But I'm still careful to do this job, trying to get the most out of the business culture here and quickly adapt to the English-language workplace environment. When I was five months pregnant, I was more responsive and resigned to rest at home. It was two years until my first child was weaned before I returned to work and found my present job.
However, in my new job, I have only been working for more than a year, and soon after my promotion, I had to stop suddenly to be the mother of my second child. And no matter how many friends in the country don't dare to have a second child, even those famous actresses will experience an awkward situation in the post-natal period, let alone me, a new immigrant with a precarious foundation. It seems, therefore, that the concern of a best friend is not too much to worry about.
"Tianding" is a big event for any family, it means that the mother's career has to be suspended, the entire family's financial situation, life habits, travel plans and so on will be followed by change. The ability to withstand these change depends on and at the same time determines the life trajectory of parents-to-be. I was also afraid to be a mother, and for a long time during my pregnancy I was uneasy. Fortunately, this fear, based on unknowns, dissipated after I really became a mother-a lot of things can be learned well, and then I'll do it after I have passed the exam. And being a mother, however, requires constant learning and growth with children.
When I decided to have a second child, I mainly considered two factors: first, one child must not be enough; second, the matter of having a child should be sooner rather than later. Other aspects, such as occupational faults, economic conditions, and so on, although I was also worried, are not decisive. The older generation often say that the age difference between the two children is no more than three years old. The older I get, the more I think my mother's nagging makes sense, and I want to add relatives and partners to my first child before I become a riskier old woman.
My best friend and I are masters alumni and used to rent a house in a city. After I went abroad, she was one of the few friends who still interact closely with me. As the resident manager of the world's famous enterprises, she is still unmarried, and whenever she talks about it, her first goal will always be to save money to buy a house in Guangzhou, an inch of money. Perhaps a woman, wife, mother and wife, who is full of fireworks like me, is far from her life.
In Sydney, some jobs are never part of the generation that has been swept into the southern hemisphere by the tide of reform and opening-up, and I am a brand-new immigrant. Coming to Sydney four years ago in the spring, she went on to buy a house, get a car, get a driver's license, register for marriage, and apply for Australian status. After the new life was built up, the desire to work became stronger and stronger. However, it is easy to find a job, but it is difficult to find an ideal job-the universal truth of the domestic workplace is even harsher to put abroad. No matter what your value is in the domestic workplace, when you get to Sydney, you have to start all over again.
When my child was about one year old, I began to look for a job. The intention of the position is similar to my work in China, but also related to my professional office work. Australia is a credit society, and the recommendation system in the workplace is very common; if there is no internal channel, it is also convenient to post your resume through the corporate website or recruitment website. I have never "sea investment", but choose a happy company, tailor-made resumes, and then fine delivery.
The first company I saw was the Sydney Opera House, where the Communication Assistant, job description of the external communications department closely coincided with my work in the country. With my academic background and working experience, I am fully qualified for this position. The pay is also good, with a three-day part-time job a week, an annual salary of A $75,999 ( three hundred and eighty thousand yuan), and other benefits similar to full-time. Part time jobs, which are common in tight-labour Australia. I think, seven days a week, three days out to make money, four days at home with the children, this job is perfect.
Australian job advertisements are not allowed to require age, sex, cultural background or photos, or they may be discriminatory. Discrimination is a heavy hat, and Australians carefully hide their true attitudes towards different individuals, which I learned later. Complete your resume with a carefully modified Cover Letter, application. Soon I got an interview call, as well as a professional interview confirmation email.
The interview was at the Sydney Opera House's office building, near Sydney Harbor and the Opera House physical building. In the interview waiting area, I am the only Asian face. The interview panel was made up of three young people, all under the age of thirty. After introducing themselves, they took turns asking a few questions, the whole interview relaxed and friendly, I was very nervous. A written test was soon received on the title of writing a press release for the opera house's biggest event of the year. English writing has always been one of the most difficult subjects for non-native speakers. I Google similar articles as far as I can, trying to get the logic of writing closer to professional English news.
A few days later, I received a rejection letter from the Opera House, which politely used the words affirming my interview and written examination performance, and then a however, told me that what was needed for the position was a media person with an in-depth knowledge of Australian society. So they hired a journalist with 20 years of local experience. At the time I thought I was just missing the job, and I soon realized that such a job would never belong to me.
First of all, language is a life-long wound that cannot be cured. No matter how good your English is, you are only a foreigner for everyday communication compared to native speaker. My major, the requirement for language ability is extremely high, even in the domestic need to be quite competitive, suddenly switched to English-speaking countries, my mother tongue advantage is completely useless. I think of a sister-in-law studying news at a famous school in the United States, she once talked to me, even if I think that her manuscript has been very American, the mentor still feels unprofessional and unprofessional at a glance; In the interview, the local students can easily make a joke to get the interviewees into a state, and the international students try their best to bring others' ideas to bear in mind all the time.
More importantly, behind the language is culture, which is an insurmountable gulf between different peoples. I didn't grow up here, I didn't read here, and my local experience was zero. The majority of international students who find it difficult to find a job after graduation are, I think, also because of the shallow accumulation in this society. In addition, racial discrimination in Australia, though obscure, is real, with white men at the pinnacle of pay, regardless of their ability, and Asian Americans at the bottom. Many Chinese have never been able to enter mainstream or white circles for life, working or living with their own people, which is probably the most basic reality of an immigrant country.
"Why do you have to go to the white company?" A friend threw me the question. She is in her forties and has worked as a top executive in Shanghai, but has come to Sydney from the bottom, even as a warehouse porter, and has been plagued by "bully" whites. Eventually she joined a Chinese company and soon became a branch manager.
I just started looking for my first full-time job. I didn't know anything about this society. I could really make a transition at a Chinese company. Even if the working language is still English and the business culture is in line with Australian tradition, Chinese will continue to be an advantage for me. After changing my mind, I sent my resume to several of the largest local Chinese media companies, and I easily got a few offer; finally, and with the recommendation of a local friend, I found a professional position in a growing Party A company.
The process of finding a job is a matter of gain and loss. In this society, I can't judge the value of my career. I can reposition myself only when I start first. This is different from the domestic, do not need to work overtime and social, every day after work, I go home to throw away the mobile phone, full-hearted companionship with the children. Occasionally, I will also miss the once "childless all-in-one" single time. But at this point, I don't have to worry about whether it's important to work hard for a promotion, or to focus on raising children at home.
The time of the skin blind date is a reward to the mother's love.
I wonder how many mothers are willing to take care of their children themselves. I was also worried that the child would become a burden on my job, so when I was pregnant with my first child, I fantasized about returning to work as soon as possible after childbirth, and again I was trying to make money with red lips and high heels. A lot of things like this, not yet experienced in the words, often just a weak imagination.
When my first child was born, I was hurt until a hundred days later, my body was basically recovered. For the first three months, the condition of the newborn was extremely unstable, requiring continuous monitoring and intensive testing to ensure safety; and the mother's physical function had to slowly recover, while also overcoming unexpected depression. Mothers and newborns gradually adapt to each other's existence and learn to play new roles together until the child is about four months old, the anxiety and discomfort in the parent-child relationship can gradually fade away, instead, finally is pure and pleasant intimate contact.
There is probably no one in the world who will be willing to walk away, whether it is sleep deprivation or life is occupied, will not be bored. During the day, I pushed her out to bathe the sunshine of the spring day and the fragrance of the flowers, and used the noisy voices of the mall as the background for her sleep; at night, I comforted her weeping little body and watched her fall asleep safely in her warm arms. We are unconditionally attached to each other, undisturbed and never satisfied. Now want to come, pregnant October and a labor is no longer worth mentioning, but this is not bound by the long light of time, became my mother's life, the most warm and peaceful memory.
Being able to accompany the children at home is actually a luxury thing. Children grow up so fast that they spend only a few years in their arms and never come back when they miss them; and work, from 20 to 70, can't be loved forever and never forsaken. Wouldn't it be happier if it wasn't for financial pressure to read, sing, and play games with children? On the other hand, the company of mothers also plays an extremely important role in the physical and mental development of children, except that some mothers do not know themselves, and more mothers have to return to work early. Hand over a young child to an elderly parent or a strange babysitter.
Young mothers in Australia are mostly out of work. Before the child was one or two years old, bringing a child at home became the biggest necessity of the family rather than going out to make money. In the case of average families, at least one long-term labor force is needed to make an income, and this person can only be a father, not only because the female group is less financially capable than men, but also because men usually only have a supporting role in raising young children.
Only the child's food, no matter how responsible the father can not provide milk, only the mother can breast-feed the child day and night, three or four hours a time. Unless the mother is ill, Australian mothers will try their best to breastfeed and often succeed with the patient help of nurse. Although infant milk powder is famous here, breastfeeding is also a common choice. In addition to breast-feeding, the mother's voice, taste and touch, but also to help newborns from a comfortable uterus to a strange external smooth transition, irreplaceable.
Helplessly, the instinctive desire of mothers to accompany their children has been diluted by the pressures of modern life. Australia's full-time mothers are more willing to stay with their children and even try to get involved in their children's infancy. A full-time mother who used to live upstairs was a Shanghainese. She had two sons in a row. I often saw her with a big belly, driving a pickup truck to deliver delivery to her husband. After years of hard work, she finally sold the pickup truck, bought the villa, sent both children to morning care, and soon found a new job as an accountant.
Another good friend of mine, after graduating from college, came to Sydney with her husband. At that time, the life of the new immigrants was very stressful. She opened fashion shops, cafes, and worked as a Chinese host, but after having a son and a daughter, she grew up to accompany the children. She sold her business, qualified for early childhood education and spent six years as a morning care teacher. "it makes me feel at ease that I can take care of my children while working on my own Childcare Centre,." Today, she is the principal of a Chinese school and runs a flower shop in the backyard of her villa.
My Chinese mother and friend, all experienced full-time life with children, less than a year, more than five or six years. Fortunately, there are old people there to help, no conditions can only be done personally. I can't help complaining about hard work, but my heart is happy. When we go out with our children, we talk about parenting and seldom talk about work. Domestic best friends once said that I did not socialize, in fact, women with children, with no children, as if no longer play together. Taking the kids out with the young mother, drinking coffee, playing games, listening to stories, watching exhibitions, is all we socialize with.
In more than a year full-time with children, not only their hearts will always return to the workplace waves, family members in the country will also privately discuss, famous university master's degree to Australia, unexpectedly became a housewife. As you know, it is much easier to go to work than to have a child.
There are different tasks at every stage of life, and now that you have chosen to be a mother, you have to make concessions for your child, for it has been the heaviest part of my life from the moment she was born. In the movie Godfather, there's a line: "The only wealth in this world is children." More than all the money, power on the earth. " ) Children are your only wealth in this world, far more than money and authority.) Now, I have no doubt about it.
Resistance to returning to work has been reduced to a single decree
Australian public schools are free of charge, but pre-primary morning care institutions for children are private. From the age of six weeks, they can be sent to Child Care, where tuition fees are measured in days, and better-ranked morning care costs about A $160 a day. This expenditure, the vast majority of Australian families feel painstaking.
Families earning less than A $ one hundred and eighty thousand ( nine hundred thousand yuan) a year receive about A $75 a day in child-care benefits, half of the cost of morning care and half of the rest. Another important reason why most mothers choose to take care of their own children is that morning care is too expensive, and even if you go out to work full-time, a year's salary is barely enough to pay for the child's morning care.
The main reason women are deterred from thinking about a second child may be the resistance to returning to work. Friends of the same age in China, in addition to a few still unmarried, the others have become a mother of a child. They don't even think about having a second child at all. Under the severe pressure of life, even having only one child can make young families feel hard and have no conditions to have one.
When I was working in Beijing a few years ago, my colleague sitting next to me was a five-year-old employee of the company, but she never came back to work after five months of maternity leave. The regional manager of another sales department experienced a staff adjustment shortly after pregnancy, retreating from the front line to doing office back-up work. Pregnant mothers are a group that should have been cared for and protected, but at some point, pregnant women in the workplace have become "exotic", with hidden worries about the future of their jobs, as well as a class of employees who fear at work.
According to friends in China, the current statutory maternity leave with pay is six months, so in this period of up to six months, enterprises need to pay their wages without labor force, and they may also hire others to make the most of the shortage. There is no doubt that it is a "cost-losing business"; And the woman also tacitly controlled her abdomen, so long as she wanted to continue rising, she dared not give birth to life easily. Domestic calls for equal rights in the workplace are getting louder and louder. In order to avoid this "human risk," employers, while not blatantly identifying their sex, can exclude women of childbearing age in the screening process, but in order to avoid this "human risk", employers will not be able to identify the gender blatantly when recruiting people. The result is a further increase in women's difficulties in finding jobs.
Since it is so difficult to find a job, who dares to give up easily?
By contrast, the relationship between Australian working mothers and employers is more equal because of government's involvement. Government, Australia, offers two maternity benefits, one with paid maternity leave (Parental)
Leave Pay), applies to the primary caregiver of the child; another is that the father or partner grants (Dad and Partner Pay), to the father or spouse (including adoptive parents and same-sex couples). Labor Law, working mothers can apply for up to one year of paid maternity leave, special cases can apply to two years. During this period of time, the enterprise must retain positions for its employees.
And at the latest, a month before the due date, the company must allow her to take maternity leave. During maternity leave, the government provides eligible mothers with parental benefits for 18 consecutive weeks, with a weekly allowance of A $695 (3475 yuan); The new father can also apply for a two-week parental allowance, so that each family can receive a total of A $13,899 for 20 weeks.
The purpose of the allowance is to encourage working mothers to spend more time with their baby after childbirth. Most importantly, the money is paid by government, and the employer does not have to bear it. For employers, maternity leave, although lack of manpower, but also do not pay costs, and did not lose; for women in the workplace, leave is protected by law, government-funded, do not need to pay wages, therefore, do not owe each other. Reproductive right is the most basic human right, which is not only a social consensus, but also a complete legal guarantee. In Australia, the child belongs to the country and does not belong to any guardian. It is the responsibility of the whole society to give him a safe and good environment for his growth.
Australian working mothers are not without pressure. From pregnancy to maternity leave and return to work, many working women are discriminated against, according to (Australian Human Rights Commission), the Australian Human Rights Commission. Slight impact on promotion, heavy will be disguised as layoffs. But many employers have even set up mother-and-baby rooms in the company to encourage female employees to continue to work. Australia's government awards career contributions to companies that employ more women every year. In addition to "reward", "punishment" is also a powerful means.
Employees who feel that they have been discriminated against can bring their employers to the Australian Human Rights and Equal opportunities Commission (Human Rights & Equal Opportunity Commission). The agency, which protects labor rights and interests, has its own arbitration court and, if the complainant is not satisfied with the outcome of the arbitration, can continue to file a complaint with the High Court. In most cases, employees sue employers because they are "relatively weak" compared to employers, while Western laws and regulations have a ethics principle that tends to protect the weak. In other words, even if working mothers feel that their rights have been violated, they will not have no way to complain.
When I told my Australian colleagues that I was about to have a second child, they opened their eyes with joy and continued to say congratulations, asking me about the due date and sex of the child, and caring more about me in the office. New life is a good thing, even other people's children, will make people feel happy, not to mention their own?
Yesterday, the doctor called me to tell me the latest pregnancy test results, I am about to have a son. I wept with joy when I heard It's a boy. It is not God's blessing to have both children. Perhaps, this child will indeed take away my all-powerful career dream, but will make another me in the world's greatest kinship. More importantly, by this time, as a mother of two, I had no fear.