As we all know, Australia is a multicultural society in which everyone is equal and social harmony is the most basic value in Australia. That is why we live in it and feel safe, comfortable and relaxed, but, In recent years, the frequent family violence problem is destroying Australia's living environment, and indirectly affects everyone who is in Australia.
As a result, in order to reduce violence behaviour against women and their children in society, the Federal government, together with the states / territories, has promoted the "stop evil, start with the seedling" (Stop it at the Start) campaign.
This activity sincerely hopes that every family can take it seriously, for the sake of this society, but also for the future of the children.
In the past, we have discussed misconceptions in the minds of many parents to sow the seeds of their children's future violence behavior. Parents need to correct their attitudes and communicate with their children to help them grow up healthily. This time, we discuss how to start a dialogue with our children.
Let the child know what true respect is.
When we talk to young people about respect for others, we should be clear about what is acceptable and what is unacceptable.
Explain to the child what respect is, not just abstract concepts, but talk through dialogue to let children know what disrespect others do. Some things may be considered unimportant in children's minds, but there is a problem of respect.
By positively guiding our children and changing their attitudes and behaviour, we can already play an important role in reducing violence for women and children in society as a whole.
What is disrespect?
A lot of people don't want to respect others, but they can't figure out what disrespect is. Here are some things that can make people feel disrespected:
- Put pressure on others to do what they don't want to do.
- Control, abuse, or harm with authority
- Treat others in a superior manne
- Treat people who differ in gender, religion, cultural background, sexual orientation or colour in an unequal manner.
- To despise the beliefs or feelings of others.
My own example is also illustrative:
My daughter attended an elite school, most of them Asian, and once my children came to my house to open party, and I heard them scoff at one of the Indian boys in the class grabbing rice for lunch. "that little black hand, grab the rice directly, , how dirty oh, we all ignore him." As a result, as I gave them fruit, I talked to them about the cultural differences of different nationalities and what it means to respect, and I said, "if you go into a class full of white people, if you don't learn to respect, Should they laugh at your complexion, too? " Everyone felt embarrassed. One of the older children immediately said, "Don't worry, uncle, we'll make friends with the Indian boy."
As adults, often pay attention to the children's words and deeds, at the most appropriate time to correct their inadvertent problems.
A lot of violence is popular because we don't want to oppose it when we're not treated by violence, but it's too late for violence to come to us.
Doing so at any time is a good way to keep everyone away from violence:
1) stop rudeness and attack in a timely manne
Laugh at or belittle others;
Bullying, teasing or abusing.
2) Let children know what it means to respect their privacy
To take pictures without permission, or to be photographed, and to share photos at will;
Divulging other people's information on the Internet;
Let children learn to be polite at all times, even on the phone or on the Internet.
3) gender issues
For many Chinese families, the idea of son preference is strong.
> parents should start by themselves and let their children know that Australian society is equal to men and women;
In some books or movies, perhaps for the sake of plot needs, when talking about male and female images, words are lacking in respect, and parents should give their children the ability to distinguish between good and bad in a timely manner;
Parents can tell their children that their parents are as important as their parents.
These discussions will help us further away from the culture of disrespect and treatment of women with violence.
On one occasion, having a coffee chat with a friend and talking about his child's education, the friend said he had recently been reminded that his child was acting casually and impolitely. So he went home to teach the child, and the child was not convinced, and the father and the son quarreled. The friend sighs, the child is too confident, very difficult to communicate. I don't think adults communicate with their children in a critical way. It's difficult to achieve results. Instead, children slowly change their incorrect way of saying and doing through equal dialogue.
Many adults feel that it may be difficult to start a conversation with a child, and many people will worry that such a topic will cause worry or fear for young people, so it is necessary to master some skills, topics and introductory remarks.
Here are the starting points and opening notes for some topics to help adults take the first steps:
- What do you think of the way female / male protagonists are treated in movies?
- Think about it, have you ever disrespected others?
- Have you noticed that boys and girls in school are treated differently?
- How do you feel if a friend is rude to you? What would you do?
- If you don't think it's safe to be around a boy / girl, where do you go for help?
For adults, there is no need to know the answers to all the questions, but to be prepared to explore all kinds of topics together.
Conversation should be accompanied by the growth of the child.
While it is sometimes difficult to talk about respect with your child about violence, it is important for parents to keep in mind that such conversation is important. Preventive dialogue and discussion should be accompanied by the growth of the child, which can not be solved twice at a time. So when a child really grows up, you know what you can do and what you can't do, and it becomes easier for parents to talk to their children more often than not.
I remember that when my daughter was in high school, she had a very good friend, a beautiful and quiet Vietnamese girl, and she told me that this friend never spoke to the boy, and when she saw the boy approaching her, she was scared to cry, so her daughter had been protecting her. Students still think that their sexual orientation is different. After many contact with the girl, I finally had a long talk, I know that the girl's father is an alcoholic and gamble, often go home to hit her mother. So the girl grew up full of fear for men.
It is also possible that some young people are reluctant to talk to adults about difficult problems. If so, adults can make the conversation open and frank in some way.
Listen for early warning signals and be prepared to respond.
Explain your views on certain issues calmly and encourage your children to think about them themselves.
Encourage your children to talk further, always try to keep the conversation open, and let the child know that you value their conversation with you.
Discussing their difficulties and admitting that it is sometimes difficult to distinguish between right and wrong.
We should not only discuss difficulties, but also success. Recall moments when your children show respect, or when they respond positively to a problem.
Let your children know that they can talk to you at any time when they need to communicate or be uncertain.
To keep us all away from family violence as soon as possible, let our children know that all relationships must start with mutual respect.
Help you discuss the topic of respect with young people by referring to the conversation Guide (Conversation Guide), for tips and suggestions on how to launch a topic of respect; (Excuse Interpreter) explains the hidden meaning behind the language we use when we talk about disrespectful behavior between men and women. (Respect Checklist) helps you identify important aspects of respect and gender equality and help you engage in a dialogue with your child.
For more information, browse to www.respect.gov.au
You can also call child helplines (Kids Hotline) and 1800RESPECT (1800 737 732).