There is a shocking news on the Internet: "kill the first place, I am the first."
It is said that a high school in Linzi, Shandong Province, occurred a murder tragedy, a 14-year-old boy because of his score always ranked second, and ranked the number one classmate started to kill, cruel in his body cut 13 knives, knife lethal!
Rumors on the Internet are paradoxical and hard to tell, but it does have a big impact on many people …
1, academic achievement and death, originally so close
There must be no one to link the academic record with the murder, but that's because it doesn't seem to have anything to do with it, and in this 14-year-old, the seed of sin is planted.
Jealousy is the source of all evil.
Shortly after the Linzi High School tragedy, on June 21, another student was killed by a classmate.
In the Chinese Academy of Sciences graduate student Xie Mou in a restaurant in Beijing invited a high school classmate Zhou Mou who came all the way to eat, but both sides just sat down not long ago, Zhou suddenly pulled out a knife and stabbed Xie Mou! After Xie Mou was stabbed to the ground, Zhou did not stop, but went on and made up another 4 knives … After that, Zhou even held his hands high and made a victory!
Insider said: in fact, there is no deep hatred between the two people, probably because of "jealousy" and.
But Xie Mou never looked down on him because of it, who could have thought that his warm hospitality had brought about the scourge of killing him! He is the standard "other people's family" child, is the pride of his family, but also a classmate role model, it is precisely because of this, has been the envy of others.
In fact, this kind of freak jealousy, in addition to attributed to their own reasons, is more worthy of reflection on the way of education.
Many parents and teachers do not know, perhaps their inadvertent words, may be a great blow to the child's psychology.
In fact, this kind of thing, may happen in our side.
Here is another painful lesson: perhaps, a parent's reward, for their children, than red envelopes, gifts to come much more important, they study hard, in fact, is to exchange parents for a soothing smile, a sincere compliment.
2. It was only when I was out of the country that I found out that my children were the best.
China's education model has been praised and disparaged for decades, but there is no denying that students' achievements in Chinese education have always been made public.
From kindergarten, there are "red flower list", "star list", teachers according to the performance of each child, corresponding awards, although there is no clear difference in scores, but who spend more, who spend less, clear at a glance.
In addition to the parents and teachers will pay attention to this list, in fact, young children will also silently care about their own "little red flowers" how many …
In the end, this "red list" will become a way to compare.
To the primary school, junior high school and high school, the results of the comparison is more obvious, in addition to each test results are open, some schools even according to the good or bad grades to divide classes …
When Chinese teachers publish their students' scores, they often publish them according to their grades. The results of major examinations are even printed in posters and posted in front of the school, which makes many students who have poor grades feel very uncomfortable.
In this open teaching model, Chinese students live in a "forced" environment of comparison and competition all the time.
"other people's children" is also the product of this educational model, parents will always mention after the test results released: "your class's XX this time the test first, you and his class, why so much?" Or at a family reunion: "look at your second aunt's child, apply for a famous American school, and look at you, alas."
This slight sigh, perhaps for the child, was a heavy blow.
Abroad, however, grades are "privacy" for students.
First of all, take the United States as an example, there is a great difference in educational concepts between China and the United States.
In the United States, teachers are very "careful" when announcing results, for fear of missing the news.
If parents want to confirm their children's results, the teacher will be very enthusiastic to inform, but if you want to ask other children's results, then the teacher will never reveal a word, nor will the results of the ranking to the parents.
The reason for this is to take care of students who do not do well in the exam, so that they will not be subjected to a great deal of mental pressure because of their grades.
The same is true in Australia, where the teacher carefully sandwiched the test paper between the two papers so that no one else would see it.
One Chinese parent who emigrated to Australia posted his son's word test paper. Although 50 words, the child was right only 40, the equivalent of 80 points, but the teacher still gave a very high rating: well done, (Well Done)!
But in China, if you only score 80 points in the primary school exam, not only won't be praised by the teacher, but may also be "roll-named criticism." The teacher's praise for the child was a recognition of his efforts in the parents' view, and the parent also showed a special award: fifth place in the sports and running race! The children who get the certificate are happier than the gift, can't wait to stick it on the wall, and encourage to continue to get more awards next time …
In fact, as long as the child works hard, whether good or bad, you deserve to be proud of him.
Stop comparing, not only to spare the child, but also to spare yourself.
Finally, comparison and criticism are far less meaningful for children's development than encouragement and praise.
Other people's children are good, but on the other hand, maybe your children are the best.
