Author: holy naps, writers, lazy moms better than good moms, where do I come from, Weibo @ sacred naps.
After Xiao Yang arrived in the United States, everyone said she was much more cheerful. Every day after school, she asked to stay in class for a while, read a book, take a AR and go home.
When she was a AR, I helped her head teacher do something, usually by hand: binding homework, sorting out school supplies.
While waiting, I found that Xiao Yang would take the initiative to positively to communicate with her head teacher without my help.
In fact, there was something wrong with her words in English, but she didn`t mind. If she couldn`t say a word, she would say the second sentence until it was clear. It pleased me. Because Xiao Yang used to be very timid, he always asked me to help me with everything.
It seems that some changes have taken place in the child`s character. In fact, this is not the case. To keep Xiao Yang from becoming a Chinese illiterate, I sent her to a half-day Chinese school every Saturday.
We chose simplified classes, teachers are from China mainland, a lot of domestic teaching experience. In the Chinese school, Xiao Yang became the timid child who dared not communicate with the teacher.
At first I thought it was incredible, because Xiao Yang is still stronger in spoken Chinese than English in general. Gradually, I found that Xiao Yang`s performance has a great relationship with the teacher`s attitude.
It is not that Chinese school teachers are fierce, Chinese school teachers are also very friendly. The biggest difference between Chinese teachers and American teachers is the way of thinking.
The little seedling has been drilled off.
Chinese children have great resistance to Chinese schools
At a Chinese school award, the teacher in charge of awarding prizes and the teacher who took the children to receive the prize had a problem communicating with each other.
The teacher who gave the prize was instructed that the wrong idiom was the second prize and that there was a pencil for the prize.
The teacher who took the children to receive the prize told the child that the first prize received the prize on the stage and the second prize went to the so-and-so teacher.
Xiao Yang is the second prize, she received the certificate, she took the certificate to step down to receive the prize. The prize teacher asked her, "how many idioms are you wrong?" She was confused, because the paper did not come back, she only knew that she had won the second prize, do not know how many wrong.
Then she answered honestly no, I only knew I was the second prize. The teacher also continued to ask how many wrong, Xiao Yang do not know what to do. So the teacher said, "No, I can`t give you the prize."
Then Xiao Yang wailed and came back to me. I didn`t know the situation, so I took her to the head teacher, so I figured it out.
After listening to her head teacher, she immediately very affectionate, heartfelt said: "silly child!" The second prize is the wrong idiom! Why don`t you know? "
The head teacher told me that after Xiao Yang cried, she asked what had happened. Xiao Yang refused to say that she was dead or alive, and she had to look for her mother.
The head teacher took me and Xiao Yang to find the teacher who presented the award together, and the teacher said with great care: "you child is really, your own business is not clear."
In Xiao Yang`s primary school, no matter what went wrong, even if Xiao Yang did make a mistake, I never heard any American teacher ask her: "Why don`t you know?" Why don`t you? "
There are many such comparisons. Under our cultivation, Xiao Yang is very active in learning Chinese characters and is willing to go to Chinese school. Almost all of the native-born Chinese-American children around have a strong resistance to Chinese schools.
Many people think this is because Chinese is too difficult, in fact, the bigger reason is the way of thinking of Chinese teachers.
Us head teacher says sensitivity is a very valuable quality
I wrote in Weibo that when Xiao Yang first went to school in the United States, he couldn`t speak any language and dare not go to the bathroom alone. Every time her head teacher tried to arrange a little girl to go to the bathroom with her at random. All the girls in Xiao Yang`s class went to the bathroom with Xiao Yang.
After listening to it, I was very moved, feeling that the teacher was especially considerate, so I went to thank the teacher. The teacher said: "Sophie is such a sensitive child, as I was when I was a child." When she is fully acquainted, she will naturally relax. "
The teacher is right, Xiao Yang will soon need no company.
But in the same situation, in Chinese schools, teachers will be very gentle, very warm to encourage Xiao Yang a little bolder: "what`s so scary about this!" Why don`t you dare to go alone? "
The teacher is also right, Xiao Yang is a obedient child. She will also have the courage to do what the teacher says.
The second grade changed his present head teacher. Xiao Yang won several awards this semester, such as the best mathematics, the best performance and so on. But that day I had to go to class, and I couldn`t go to school. When I first told Xiao Yang that I couldn`t go, Xiao Yang cried.
Her head teacher was there and immediately went to hug her and said with great regret, "Mom can`t come. I know how you feel." But I promise I will support you there and cheer you up. The teacher will hug you and take pictures of you. "
The teacher joked: "in school, the teacher is your temporary mother." What do you think, my temporary mother and your mother? "
I was a little embarrassed and said, "Sophie is a little sensitive."
"sensitivity is a very valuable quality," said her head teacher. "Sophie always cares very much about how others feel, and she is compassionate. And she`s very artistic and observant. It`s all about sensitive kids. "
The head teacher is not a general compliment. She also recommends Xiao Yang to attend the "Little Artist" exhibition in the school district. And Xiao Yang`s art class works are always put on display in the hallway.
A list of duty days in Xiao Yang`s class
Behind the teacher`s card in the United States is a solid course of operation.
Do all American teachers have a loving, Virgin Mary attachment? No, in fact, all American teachers have received the correct teacher education.
I took a class in children`s and youth literature this semester. Most of the students in the class are determined to be teachers. This is a compulsory course for them.
This course introduces different contents of children`s literature, from children`s picture books to puberty literature. In the analysis of each work, the teacher will first talk about the children`s psychological characteristics of the work.
For example, children`s literature is read under the age of twelve. Why this division point?
Because, according to existing studies, children under the age of 12 do not fully understand abstract concepts. For abstract education for this age group, such as morality, should appear in a concrete image.
The work we analyzed in that lesson was where the wild thingsare, a picture book that won several international awards.
The final scene is when the protagonist Marx returns to his house and finds a warm dinner on the table. This warm dinner is to symbolize the love of parents.
The book, from beginning to end, did not say, "in fact, Mom loves you the most" and so on.
According to the characteristics of children`s words and deeds, how to guide different types of children, how to deal with different disciplinary situations, how to design games to regulate children`s words and deeds, will be divided into different courses, all of which are what these students need to learn.
Behind the teacher`s card in the United States is a solid course of operation.
Contact with such courses, it is not difficult to understand why Xiao Yang`s American teachers have different personalities and different abilities, but the basic words and deeds are reasonable.
Scientific work of small Seedling
Children`s so-called problems come from humiliation under a single standard.
In these two different cultural hedging, small seedlings have formed conditioned reflex. She was generous and confident in the English-speaking world and returned to the timid child in the Chinese environment.
Every time I mention these differences, someone says, "who told you not to choose school while you were in Beijing?" Key school teachers are not the same, all are high-skilled students, know how to respect their children. So, you still have to buy a school-district room. "
So, you see, it`s a new insult. The school teacher doesn`t speak well enough for children, and you`re wrong.
Who told you not to choose school, you do not mix into a person on the people. As Wang Xiaobo satirized in the evening rush: rather than hate the road, it is better to hate oneself is a common people.
A lot of people say I`ve written too little lately, I`m busy with my homework, and I really don`t want to write about it.
Because after writing, someone will call you unpatriotic, look for loopholes, say you make up a story, in order to generalize. Next, "the problem should be divided into two, the United States education really good?"
But if you want to think about it, you should write it down. Because I`ve received too many personal letters from distressed parents telling me that their children have problems and don`t know how to improve them.
I don`t believe it`s a problem where you pay to choose a school, because many parents and children go to the best schools in the region.
But in fact, 99% of the children are not a problem at all. The so-called problem is actually from a single standard under the humiliation. The so-called improvement is to want the child to change his own personality.
Sensitive, timid, active, is basically the top three parents distressed. But in my opinion, this is a good thing, not a disadvantage.
Sensitive children have artistic temperament and a very rich and beautiful inner world; timid children know how to distinguish danger, logic is often very strong; active children are full of energy and energy, and often have strong courage and motivation.
Why is such a precious trait distressing parents? Because in the external authoritative evaluation system, these three are shortcomings, should be corrected.
You are sensitive, you will mind the humiliation of others, so you glass heart. Because "Why do you mind? What do children want so much? "
If you are timid, you won`t fight and rob, so you deserve no resources. Because "why don`t you be bold"?
If you move, you can`t sit for 45 minutes without moving. The teacher has the right to humiliate you because "everyone else can sit"?
I would like to say a very unpleasant thing, that is, our mainstream values, there is a perfect image of children.
At the heart of the child`s image is the ability to happily accept all possible humiliation. The perfect child is that adults don`t need to be considerate of you as they want you to.
So we have always advocated playing silly-I hope I am foolish and untroubled to the public.
A record book issued by a small school for recording daily work.
Humiliation doesn`t make children progress, it just depresses them.
The culture of humiliation extends to the adult world. None of us can avoid this humiliation.
Whenever there is negative news, such as about safety, fraud, and so forth burst out. Will produce a part of the immune population, humiliation of the other part of the recruitment.
Financial ridicule, biological do not understand finance, so the obvious trap. But it doesn`t matter. After a while, the biologists can fight back on the vaccine issue and even the basic concept of finance is unclear, so listening to the wind is rain, what experts laugh at.
As far as I`m concerned, I don`t know how to write it down. This is one of the reasons why I have written very little recently. I do have a lot of feelings, but I don`t know what I can draw.
These problems are too big. If you want to think about it, you should go back to your original intention. I think most of my readers are parents, and everyone faces similar dilemmas.
The dilemma is that we often can`t help but panic, worried that our children are not good enough to have a good future in the future.
What I want to say is that a child can have all kinds of personality, and a child should not be humiliated because of his personality, his personal characteristics.
Don`t believe that children must be carved into a pattern to achieve happiness. The most important thing in a person is to like himself. A person who does not like himself, no matter how much wealth, it is difficult to get the feeling of happiness.
Humiliation does not make a child progress, but depresses himself. Sometimes because the child oppresses himself, gives you the illusion that the child is making progress, this is an illusion, because depression is never a state of happiness.
More often, humiliation itself is the cause of the problem. Like the timidity of Xiao Yang, dare not speak, only exist in the Chinese school.
You see, I am now an architect who can report the plan, and I have organized an operation committee in public. I am now a liberal arts student in the United States, and I am still the best student in the classroom among the many native American students who dare to behave.
Anyway, I`m not a silent person, am I? I`m telling you, I was a kid who hardly ever spoke to adult relatives until high school.
I have been judged by many relatives as "the child is so strange that there is not a word."
And I remember the feeling clearly: the first few conversations made me feel like I didn`t know how to speak to them correctly, and every word I said could lead to humiliation, even though some of them were well-intentioned. So I chose silence.
Of course, I know that our environment is not ideal enough, so parents should be more resolute support for their children`s families.
Sometimes the environment does make people doubt themselves, asking themselves over and over, "am I wrong?" Am I too useless? " So I try to muster the courage to describe some of the different circumstances.
I want to tell people who always feel weak or weak in this way: we have no problem, the problem is the environment. Even if we can`t change the environment, don`t doubt, humiliate ourselves, and our children because of it.
