01
Recently, when I got a piece of news in Zhihu, I was a little surprised
There is a group of parents in primary school in Yulin, Guangxi. The reason is that several parents chat in the group of parents, provoking a doctor mother, and then the doctor mother in the parents group scolded for four hours.
The vulgarity and arrogance of his words made it hard to believe that the man who said these words was a doctor with a higher education:
Screenshot of chat record
Let me take a brief look at what happened.
At first, several parents talked about drinking in groups of parents, talking a little high.
Then, the doctor`s mother couldn`t watch it anymore and said, "No, no, no.
"that`s enough, drink to death!"
One parent, unaware of the anger that the doctor`s mother was about to erupt, continued to talk about drinking in the group and said, "I`m in charge of pouring wine."
Then the doctor`s mother immediately replied:
"it`s interesting, isn`t it? take your mother`s head."
Maybe her words made another parent feel uncomfortable, so he said in the group:
"those who believe in Buddha also scold rude words?" (the portrait of the doctor`s mother is a portrait of Zhang Bodhisattva.)
The teacher also came out to maintain order and asked the parents to return to the normal topic:
Originally, this should be the end of the matter.
But the parent, who accused the doctor`s mother of being rude, seemed unhappy and muttered:
"Group chat, are you not tired of so many rules?"
This completely annoyed the doctor`s mother, directly in the group @ her, told her not to be happy to get out:
As a result, the war broke out. While the doctor`s mother was "talking and fighting with Confucianism", on the other hand, she also made personal attacks on other parents, calling others "accompany the drunkard". How hard it was to listen and how bad it was to hear:.?
Later, she also took the initiative to expose the identity of her family, the tone filled with a sense of superiority:
"my daughter`s hukou is in Beijing, her father is in Beijing, and we have house in Beijing."
"I`m a Ph.D. and an associate professor from a teacher`s college. Who dares kick me and try it?"
"(child father) graduated from the Department of Civil Engineering, Tsinghua University, Ph.D. in the Academy of Social Sciences."
Finally, she came with arrogance:
Sue me! We`re so low-key, you don`t tell, no one knows we`re so good!
The whole chat lasted for four hours, from 7 p.m. to 11:00 in the evening. In the middle, there are two teachers dissuasion many times invalid, can only gloom out of the group;
Some parents apologized to the woman, but she continued to swear:
Even in the end, no one paid attention to her, she still spoke to herself in the group, her superiority leapt to the paper, but embarrassing cancer has been committed:
This incident aroused a lot of water on the Internet, because the protagonist of this matter is a doctor.
In the inherent impression of most people, Ph.D. = high education, and high education = high quality.
In other words, we all feel that after so many years of reading books, even if they can`t be exported into chapters, they should be able to scold people without dirty words. After all, they are readers.
However, the facts are often contrary to everyone`s ideas, because many times, the level of quality and a person`s education, there is really no relationship.
02
Last year, a news piece called "Jiaotong University doctor angry with Guo Degang" attracted a lot of attention
A Ph.D. and his wife took part in a program called crosstalk, and the judge was Guo Degang.
Needless to say, we all know how loud Guo Degang`s position in crosstalk is. But as soon as the doctor and his wife came on the field, they gave Guo Degang a lower hand.
Her husband, Li Hongye, pointed his hand directly at Guo Degang and asked very unamicably:
"you don`t know me, do you?"
Guo Degang was stunned for a moment and quickly defused the embarrassment with a clever smile:
"then you let me know each other today."
Li Hongye took three books from his wife and went to Guo Degang:
"this time I brought you three books, written by our husband and wife for so many years. This was published in 2009, called Campus crosstalk, and this is called finite element of crosstalk, published in 2012."
"this is called the logical funny record. I think you can read it."
At this time, the program group gave the book cover a shot. It says:
"it`s hard to understand, but it`s harder to use! chew and chew!"
Behind is the signature of the dragon and Phoenix dance of two people.
If it were someone else, it might be green-this is not here to compete, this is clearly to kick the hall ah!
In the face of provocation from the doctor, only Guo Degang of primary school culture just smiled. "Great, I try."
Unexpectedly, Li Hongye did not go down Guo Degang`s steps, but "repaid" him with an ironic tone:
"Don`t tear it up."
Guo Degang still put up with it:
"Thank you, I treasure it. You see, it`s great that people don`t come empty-handed for a contestant like this."
But Guo Degang`s good upbringing, in exchange for Li Hongye`s more and more arrogant attitude:
"We used the formula to create more than 560crosstalk, and you don`t know us?"
"shall we say something advanced? don`t keep crosstalk."
"crosstalk should not be the only way to say it, but I want to ask you a question."
"if you have a problem, I`ll point it out. It`s okay."
Sure enough, such an attitude made the audience angry.
So, when Guo Degang announced that they would not pass, the whole audience stood up and applauded in support of it.
Finally, when Li Hongye left, he pointed to Guo Degang and left such a sentence:
"We`ll see! you won`t let us live today, and it may be us who will sit in that position tomorrow!"
The full video is here.
His arrogant posture, compared with Wen Tou`s doctor`s mother, is more than that.
03
Don`t get me wrong. The purpose of my writing this article is not to prove that reading is useless, but to tell you that it is difficult for the doctor to take the exam, but it is obviously more difficult to be a self-contained person.
Take the Yulin female doctor`s parents as an example, the female doctor`s original intention is not wrong.
Because she is to maintain the order of the group, and the parents should not become a place for parents to chat.
After all, many times, teachers will send a lot of important notices to the group, if blindly small talk missed important information, it is not worth the loss.
But her biggest mistake was that when she said something fair or two, she used the most extreme way to suppress the public opinion of the group by physically attacking or even showing off her own way, so that everyone would submit to her in the way of her "noble identity."
But in so doing, she not only did not bring any benefit to herself, but also had an impact on her daughter.
Because other parents will certainly tell their children about tonight, and when the child knows, they will unconsciously alienate or even isolate her children because they are influenced by their parents.
Over time, the doctor`s mother`s daughter grew up in such an atmosphere, the impact on her character is very negative.
It can be said that the doctor`s mother`s daughter, originally had such an excellent gene. Her mother is a Ph.D. from the Academy of Social Sciences and her father graduated from Tsinghua University, but under the influence of her mother, it is difficult for her to become a healthy person.
Because her mother could not even achieve the basic accomplishment of respecting others, how to teach her daughter to learn to respect others?
A person who does not know how to respect others must not get the goodwill and respect of others. How high can a man who no one admires who he does not like be able to achieve?
04
There is a bloody example around me:
My friend YY is a human resources specialist for a large company and is responsible for the recruitment of the company.
A few years ago, she recruited a doctor who graduated from the top 50 universities in the world. Academic essay, published in top journals, is a very good boy with a very good resume.
But on the third day of work, the boy quarreled with his superiors because the company`s strategy did not conform to his ideas.
The words are quite arrogant:
"I am a Ph.D. graduated from S University, after so many years of reading, it is not in vain, the company`s strategy to launch the market is obviously not feasible, will only cause the waste of resources and costs of the company!"
In the face of the questioning of the boy, his superiors explained patiently at first, but did not expect the boy to turn around, saying in a slightly sarcastic tone:
"it seems that my books have been read for nothing all these years, and I don`t know as much as a college graduate."
However, the boy does not know that although his superior graduated from college, he has been in this industry for nearly 20 years and has a wealth of market insight and project experience.
After listening to the boy`s words, his superior`s face darkened in an instant. But instead of having an attack, the superior asked the boy to return to his seat to do other work.
Unexpectedly, the boy found the YY, to ask for a change of department, the reason is that the idea with the leader is inconsistent, difficult to communicate, hoping to transfer the work of the department.
After finding out about the situation, YY told his department leader about the situation. I didn`t expect YY`s leader to fire the boy very decisively after listening to Sister H`s account.
YY is a little puzzled, because in her eyes, although the boy is a little proud, but his resume is still very rare, so let him go, won`t it be a pity?
YY`s leadership explains this:
"No matter how good a person is, if he doesn`t know how to respect others, it will only bring unnecessary trouble and loss to the company. Don`t look at him now. He won`t be doing well in a few years."
Later, YY accidentally learned about the boy from his peers in other companies.
Her colleague told her that the boy was really good, but he was too bad to be a man. Because he is used to thinking highly of himself, he often argues because he does not agree with his superiors, and often points to the company.
And with him came in with another girl, but also a returned. The girl can not only bear hardships, but also respect the opinions given to her by her superiors.
Not long after she came in, she worked with her superiors to complete a big project and was promoted to supervisor. The boy, on the other hand, is still a small clerk.
The proud boy also thought about changing jobs, but the good resources of the company were not his turn, and his work resume did not give people a bright result of the work. He did not even dare to change jobs.
When YY told me this story, he was very sad:
"sometimes, your diploma will prove your ability to a certain extent. But it is not enough for people to be capable, because it is a cooperative society and it is very important for others to recognize you.
If you can`t even respect the behavior of others, even if you have high skills, how can others admire you from the bottom of their hearts? "
I take it for granted.
05
From the above examples, we can realize two things:
(1) the upbringing of people with high educational level is not necessarily high;
What is more important than education is to have respect for the upbringing of others.
Therefore, I think, before learning to be a cultural person, we must learn to be a human being.
How to learn to be a human being? The first is to have a good upbringing.
People have their own understanding of good upbringing:
Some people say that a good upbringing is to spare no effort to make others feel comfortable;
Some people say that a good upbringing is tolerance and respect for others from the heart;
Some people say that good upbringing is to be able to think from each other`s point of view and understand everyone`s difficulty.
In fact, if we want to sum up, it is a sentence:
Good upbringing, to put it bluntly, is kindness from the bottom of my heart.
Because, only from the heart of the kind, in order to really understand others, will know how much dirty words you say hurt people.
You know, kindness from the heart is much more precious than the title of a doctor.
Unfortunately, there are some people who will never understand.
-END-
Source: family magazine (jiatingzazhi)
